What if?
by tinkerbell2
Summary: Sexual content in chapter 4. I think I've finished. Our couple are finally outed. Please R&R.
1. That white shirt

Here's an idea I had for a story. You have to guess who the two main characters are though! (It's not that difficult I promise) please R & R as all feedback and constructive criticism are always welcome. Chapter one .  
  
He just walked past again. He's on his way to the changing rooms and I fight the urge to follow him. I shouldn't feel the way I do about him I just honestly can't help it. It's that home run at the end of the 9th innings kind of feeling where you've hit it out of the park. The overwhelming go weak in the knees, feel dizzy with desire, kind of thing. We've been friends for years and yet I've never felt so strongly about him. I can't help but watch him, strutting around so confidently, I'm just drawn to him.  
  
He knows I exist he just doesn't see me the way I see him. What if he did? When he passes me by I catch an understated, subtle waft of his cologne drift past me. I close my eyes and breathe it in knowing that this is probably the closest I'll get to having him inside me. I've bumped into him numerous times in the hallways. Accidentally on purpose of course. Just to touch him makes burning sensations tingle throughout my entire body. I walked in on him changing the other day and I couldn't help but stand at stare at him. If I hadn't left as quickly as I did, I probably would have fainted right in front of him.  
  
I know what you're thinking, but it's not ok? It's not just a stupid girly crush. I remember having those and they felt nothing like this. Trust me. I was looking through my microscope the other day and he crept up behind me. I knew it was him before I even turned around. It was the way my stomach flipped over and dispersed into a multitude of butterflies that gave it away. Or maybe the way my breath caught in my throat when he leaned on my shoulder.  
  
I can't feel like this though. It's in appropriate on more than one level. It would be a relationship in the workplace and it would just be. what am I talking about? The day that man ever asks me out is the day I discover what 'Nirvana' is. What if he only felt the same?  
  
That's my whole train of thought lately. Caught up in 'what if?' and 'if only'. I feel so downcast and yet so happy at the same time. I know he'd never go for someone like me but I can't help but wish he would. If only I could . there I go again. Another if only to be left unfinished and unfulfilled.  
  
He's just emerged from the changing rooms and I love it when he wears that white shirt. It defines his extremely nice body. I have got to stop daydreaming and get back to work!  
  
I just can't but think . What if?  
  
Please R&R, as it would be greatly appreciated. I'm trying to update nothing's changed and hard candy Christmas so if you'd like to take a peek at those it'd be much appreciated as well! Anyway lots of writing to do and less time to do it in. Until next time ladies and gentlemen . =) XX 


	2. Just my imagination

Thank you for the reviews they are always appreciated. However, you're still going to have to guess who the couple in question are! All will be revealed in later chapters (but by then I bet you any money you'll know who the characters are!) But for now it's up to you! This chapter is from his point of view.  
  
Chapter 2 . Just my imagination.  
  
It's boring in the lab and Greg's got that god-awful music on again. Whatever attracts him to that screaming and banging racquet is something that needs help, the kind of help from men wearing white coats. The other day he'd blown up a latex glove and stuck it on his head. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. It seriously was that disturbing.  
  
My usual radio station that I listen to is being as stubborn as my mother today and refuses to acknowledge a signal no matter what position I put the aerial in. So I have to settle for this modern day crap music until I finally hit upon a station that caters for my needs. And so what if that station is some form of 'golden oldies' type of thing. They had the last gasps of 'I've got you under my skin,' from blue eyes himself just now.  
  
She just passed by. I can't help but hold my breath when I see her. It's just the way she's so graceful, she doesn't just walk she glides. Her voice is such a haunting (in a good way obviously) symphony of highs and lows that I just can't get enough of it. I laugh when I hear the radio broadcasters planned next song.  
  
"Each day through my window I watch her as she passes by."  
  
Too right I do.  
  
"I say to myself your such a lucky guy."  
  
Well I would but .  
  
"To have a girl like her."  
  
I wish.  
  
"Is truly a dream come true,"  
  
Don't I know it?  
  
"Out of all the fellow's in the world she belongs to me. But it was just my imagination. running away with me. it was just my imagination. running away with me.."  
  
Like it seems to do all the time nowadays. My imagination is a constant movie like dream that only rests when I'm stuck on a case. My concentration span is abysmal. She's passing by again. And impulsively I grab her and spin her around and whisk her down near to the floor before lifting her once again, mouthing the words to the song exaggerating them until she can't contain her laughter any more. By god I love that laugh. And that smile. She just positively glows when she smiles and it's infectious. I'm smiling inanely like a complete idiot. If I don't stop grinning soon she'll phone up the mental institute and have me committed. She'll actually think Sanders is saner than I am and that surely isn't a good thing.  
  
The song has ended and I release her spinning her out so the she still clings onto my hand. Pure electricity goes through my veins making me feel static, if I touched a light bulb I'm sure it'd light up. I bow my head and say 'Thank you my lady for the dance,' and she smiles once more at me before shaking her head and walking down the corridor.  
  
She doesn't know she looks just as good from the back. That woman is fine. and that is chauvinistic. Damnit. I honestly can't help it she makes me get hot under the collar just thinking about her. By the way she's shaking her head and laughing as she's walking away however I start to feel inadequate. Like a prize plonker who's just won the blue ribbon. Great she thinks I'm a loon.  
  
Well I guess there's got to be upsides. or not.  
  
She knows I exist and she does flirt with me but I know she'd never feel the same way as I feel about her. She's too classy, too sophisticated. She'd never see anything in a guy like me.  
  
Shrugging the pessimism off I turn the radio volume down and start humming that tune to myself. That's going to keep me happy for days. I feel like a little boy who just got a Harley for Christmas, yes indeed I feel that good. And I even know the lyrics, which is pretty good considering I've only ever heard the song a couple of times. It's her. She brings out the best in me. She makes me happy. I could smile incessantly and never get an ache in my jaw. Ok maybe that's an exaggeration but it's not my fault. I sing louder feeling confident in my voice.  
  
"Nice voice you got there,"  
  
I physically jumped. Either that or I had the rabbit-stuck-in-headlights kind of expression. I didn't even hear her coming. And now she was paying me a compliment. Nice one.  
  
"Well thanks."  
  
"No need, Greg told me before I heard you. He says you like crap music though." She smirked and then broke out into a full smile again.  
  
Man I want her. I'm even tempted to ask her out right here and now but I know what she'd say. I stay quiet I don't know what to say, being tongue tied is so not the situation I want to be in right now.  
  
"Hey how'd you fancy a coffee after shift?" She asks.  
  
I'm dumbstruck. Is she asking me out on a date?  
  
"Umm yeah sure, love to."  
  
"Good good that's the response I wanted to hear. I'll meet you in the foyer at the end of shift. Don't keep me waiting." She winks at me and wanders off turning her back on me, which is probably a good thing because my mouth is hanging wide open and drool and tonsils never really turn women on.  
  
It sounds strange I know but I pinch myself to check I'm alive and not actually hallucinating after too many chemical fumes. No it's true, I'm alive and kicking and not dreaming.  
  
Good lord what am I going to wear?!  
  
  
  
Please R&R. I hope you found the chapter both sweet and amusing. I love to hear from you all so thank you for taking your time to read my story. Next chapter hopefully coming very soon! Until next time ladies and gentlemen . =) XX 


	3. I won't Dance

Sorry it's taken such a long time. To all who have read or reviewed my story I am extremely grateful. I've been ill for over a week now and I'm slowly getting back to normal and with that comes updates! This story is first on the agenda then hopefully another chapter of Hard Candy Christmas and Nothings Changed. Thanks again and I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is from the view of the girl in the story. I also think you're going to figure out the couple in this chapter so I hope you like it. Chapter 3.  
  
I won't dance - Chapter 3.  
  
What did I just do? I asked him out on a date. I mean he accepted but what in the lords' name was I thinking? I think I'm going to pass out or be sick or something. My hearts beating so fast, the words just literally flew out of my mouth before I could stop them.  
  
Good lord. What am I going to wear? The only thing that's in my locker is something that has remains of blood and brain matter on it and although it could be a conversation piece it's not exactly attractive. So this is going to have to be it. My black trousers and my cream jumper and some cowboy boots. They weren't my choice before you say anything. My mom got me them for Christmas last year and they go well with the trousers.  
  
Anyway, that's not the task in hand right now. He's probably only going because he thinks it's a friendship thing or something like that. I just want it to be perfect you know? I like him so much it'd really take a while to get over this if it all goes down the toilet tonight.  
  
What are we going to talk about? Works a pretty safe subject but I don't want to be talking about my earlier incident when I'm supposed to be looking sophisticated and alluring. Man why is dating so hard? I feel like I'm 16 again with all the multitude of butterflies dispersing in my stomach and my eyes balls bursting like the 4th of July every time he walks past.  
  
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It seems like ages until the end of shift when really it's only an hour and a half. I freshen up my hair and dab a little bit of make up on and trying to breathe I set about trying to find him. I walk over to the locker room door and .  
  
"Shit! You trying to kill me?" I manage to let out a giggle whilst trying to recover a normal breathing pattern.  
  
"No, I just thought I'd surprise you," He looks concerned. Oops.  
  
"Let's go," I reply, with more confidence than I actually have. We're walking out of the building. Together. We're getting into my SUV. Together. We're sitting in the SUV. Together. Suddenly this all seems a bit too much to handle. He's only 30cm away from me at most. I can feel heat coming from him and hear him breathing. Oh my Gosh! His leg just brushed against my leg. I need to stop this silliness otherwise I'll hyperventilate. "Are you alright?" He looks at me slightly concerned and slightly amused. Damn, he thinks I'm a loon and by the way I'm acting right now, he'd be correct with his insinuations.  
  
Ok just breathe start the car and drive. Step by step instructions seem to work as my bodies doing everything it should be.  
  
"So how's today been for you?" He starts the conversation and I'm grateful to him for that.  
  
"Don't ask, I mean it's been kind of embarrassing."  
  
"Come on it can't be worse than mine,"  
  
"Fine I had a slight accident when I went to see Doc Robbins earlier but that's all you're getting out of me."  
  
"It's alright you know. Everyone on the nightshift knows what happened. It was funny."  
  
"Oh thanks." I can feel my cheeks burning right now. Are flamingos attractive to men? Didn't think so.  
  
"So what happened today then for you since and I quote 'It can't be worse than mine.'"  
  
"Nothing I was just trying to get your story out of you,"  
  
"I see pick on the accident prone I get it."  
  
"Good good. Anyway turn right there's a great coffee place just off the next turning."  
  
"Good cos I'm beginning to get really thirsty." What am I saying? Isn't that obvious? We're going to a coffee place you're bound to drink so why in the name of all things sacred am I saying what I just did? However, he's smiling at me so I can't have said something earth shatteringly dumb. Well maybe.  
  
He steps out of the SUV and then gets back in.  
  
"What?"  
  
"It's closed."  
  
"Oh yeah not everyone runs on the same hours we do. Why don't you come back to mine?"  
  
I just asked him back to my house. Why don't I just ask him to jump into bed with me it'd probably be quicker.  
  
"Sure."  
  
I let out a little 'phew' and start to drive again. It's only about 5 minutes to my house but it feels like 50. Eventually we get there and I can't help but feel relieved. If anything is going to happen it's going to happen now. I don't exactly know why that makes me relieved but hey I've always been strange.  
  
I fiddle with the keys in the lock and it finally opens to reveal my humble abode.  
  
He just sniggered.  
  
"What?"  
  
"Nothing it's just . it's exactly like I expected it to be."  
  
"Well that's alright then I can forgive you for that." I smile at him hoping to make him feel more at ease. I flick on my CD player and good old blue eyes himself comes blaring out.  
  
"You a Frank Sinatra fan as well?" He shouts over the music. I turn it down and reply, "What do you mean as well?"  
  
"I love his music!"  
  
"Really?" This surprises me I always took him for a country and western man. "You want something to eat?"  
  
"Nah, just some coffee would be great thanks."  
  
"Sure, how'd you like it?"  
  
I can see the cogs turning on the inside of his head. Trying to figure out an innuendo however he comes up with the boring, "Black no sugar." Shame I would have quite enjoyed something that gave me a clue to as if he liked me or not. I watch the kettle boiling with keen interest trying to figure out something witty to say but before I can do that a hand grabs hold of my own and whisks me back into the living room and starts spinning me around.  
  
"I won't dance don't ask me I won't dance don't ask me I won't dance Madame with you, My heart won't let my feet do things that they should do You know what you're lovely."  
  
At this he starts to mouth the words to me and I burst into some form of hysterical laughter.  
  
"Do you know what? You're so lovely Do you know what you do to me? I'm like an ocean wave that's bumped on the shore I feel so absolutely stumped on the floor When you dance your charming and your gentle Especially when you do the continental But this feeling isn't purely mental For heaven rest us, I am not asbestos and that's why I won't dance why should I? I won't dance, how could I? I won't dance Madame with you, I know music leads the way to romance So If I hold you in my arms . I won't dance."  
  
He swings me down in his arms near to the floor and I look into his eyes. He wants to kiss me. I know he does I want to kiss him to but there's one thing standing in our way of romance.  
  
The stupid kettle.  
  
"Leave it." He asks me and I do as he wishes. It can blow up for all I care. He's brought me back up and he's looking right at me and I'm starting to get something that feels remotely familiar to palpitations. He leans in closer to me and breathes lightly on my lips. They tingle and I melt, wanting him right here and right now to kiss me. Slowly but firmly he entwines his fingers around the back of my neck and brings me in closer to him and then he kisses me. And then that's when it all goes wrong.  
  
  
  
If you like this chapter please R&R and I might tell you how the kissing goes wrong! ( Thank you for the previous reviews I really appreciate all support that I get as it encourages me to write. Until next time ladies and gentlemen. ( XX 


	4. Stroke you up

Hello there! I know I have been a very naughty girl and that I haven't updated this story in a long time but I kind of lost all previous motivation that I had. Anyway, it's a new year and that means that I have to sit on my ass and start writing! So here goes nothing.. This chapter is written from the guy's point of view and the song in it is by changing faces and it's called stroke you up. (I know it sounds dodgy but hey) Chapter 4.  
  
Chapter 4 .Stroke you up.  
  
Slowly but firmly he entwines his fingers around the back of my neck and brings me in closer to him and then he kisses me. And then that's when it all goes wrong.  
  
I back away from her suddenly as a pang of conscience hits me right between the eyes. We shouldn't be doing this. We work together for crying out loud. What would Grissom say? She's looking at me hurt now and I'm not surprised.  
  
"What's wrong? Is it me?" She asks. I can see she's panicking she thinks she's done something wrong.  
  
I sigh and let out the breath that I didn't know I'd been holding. "No it's not you, you're great. It's just that........"  
  
"Just what?"  
  
"Just that we work together. If Grissom finds out we are dead meat."  
  
"We won't be. Have you not noticed him and Catherine getting closer lately?" She's moving closer to me slow enough so that if I want to back away I can but my body is just not cooperating with my thought at present.  
  
"No I haven't noticed.." I answer sheepishly. I've kind of been wrapped up in my own thoughts lately.  
  
"Then what's your problem? Look Nick if you're going to say all the macho BS about not being ready for a relationship right now then I think it's better we cut this conversation off here. In fact just go." She motions her hand towards the door. Her eyes look moist and she lets a telltale tear slip from out of her beautiful eyes. Honesty has got to be the best policy.  
  
"I like you a lot Sara. I have done for quite some time now and the last thing I want to do is leave."  
  
"You being serious?" She lets out a small giggle, a welcome but slightly awkward sign from her previous sadness.  
  
"Yes and why are you laughing?"  
  
"No reason."  
  
"Come on I don't like having the joke pinned on me ok?"  
  
"What do you like having pinned on you?" She smiles at me and winks. Good lord she's flirting with me. She's moved up right next to me now and taken hold of me within her slender tanned arms. Man she is gorgeous.  
  
"One minute." She adds to her last very forward comment. She wanders over to the CD player and switches CD. I wait patiently wondering what she's doing slowly dying of curiosity.  
  
~ Come on in and close the door I've got what you're looking for Dim the lights, unplug the phone And turn the radio on. ~  
  
Whatever she has in mind is definitely working. This song is certainly a song to get you in the mood.  
  
~ I've got what you need So put your trust in me  
  
And I won't let you down  
  
So give me your love right now. ~  
  
She's sashaying back over to me and slowly but surely she pushes me back gently on to the sofa. Of course I willingly follow her lead and she seats herself on top of me. Ok this is going to get way too much for a certain part of my anatomy in a minute. She's smiling at me knowing exactly what I'm thinking. She's kissing my neck with angel like innocence but ferociously enough to let me know she wants me, good thing really since I've been practically staging this event in my head with so many different scenarios every day for the past couple of months.  
  
~ That's what I want to do Til it's done I've got a question for you Do you mind if I stroke you up? Do you mind if I stroke you down? All through the night Until your body's tired. ~  
  
Man she knows exactly how to drive me wild. And suddenly that's it she gets off me and takes hold of my hand. Slipping my arms around her waist we climb the stairs together, entwined. We reach the top of her stairs and it's so dark I can't even see Sara in front me, I only know she's there by the sensational feeling of touch that flows like electric between us.  
  
She's guiding me somewhere and I'm betting my bottom dollar I know where. She leaves me standing in the doorway and, my eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness make out a moving silhouette. Then she becomes clearer as she strikes a match and the room fills with an orangey yellow glow. Lighting a few candles on nearby bedside tables she blows the match out seductively and sets down the spent item on its box. Man she's starting to undress. Does she want me to follow suit or what?! Nonetheless I make my way over to the other side of the bed where she stands and as I kiss her gently, hungry for more, I slowly but surely start to undress her. She leans backwards onto the bed and slowly one thing starts leading inevitably to another...........  
  
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I wake the next morning in an unfamiliar magnolia room with sunlight streaming in gleefully through the window. Squinting as I adjust to the light I suddenly rediscover the memory of what happened last night in the depths of my mind. Then a thought strikes me. Seeing the vacant spot next to me in the bed I wonder, where's Sara?  
  
Swinging my legs over the side of the bed I push the covers back, I relish the cold feeling of the soft breeze coming through the window flowing over my skin like velvet. Standing up to stretch I realise I'm butt naked and scrimmaging around for my boxers I hear footsteps followed shortly by a little giggle.  
  
"I was getting breakfast," she says as she re-enters the room. "And you were meant to stay in bed!" She adds playfully as she settles down on her half of the bed.  
  
Still scrimmaging for my boxers I suddenly realise she's only wearing my t- shirt and decide that my underwear can wait. Sliding back onto the bed and under the covers I broach the all-important question. "So you don't regret last night then?"  
  
"Would you still be here if I did?" She smirks at me.  
  
"Probably not. You would have kicked my ass out of bed at dawn. So what do we have for breakfast?"  
  
"Well you'll have to wait and see now won't you.?"  
  
Please press the little 'go' button and make my day! All reviews and feedback welcome and always appreciated. I think I can end my story there. Until next time love to you all tinx ......... =) XX 


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